Some recent events have sparked me to feel pain. Again and again and again. Pain sucks. Pain really, really sucks. It sucks your energy right out of you. It’s like you’re so tired but you didn’t really do anything and a lot of the time you don’t feel like you can control it.
Here is one of the things I’ve been using to help me turn pain into power. Perhaps you might find it useful.
10 – 15 minute exercise.
You’ll Need:
- paper / pen OR computer screen
- 10 or 15 minutes of quiet time
- be okay with diving into something that may be hard, but is worth it
Make a list of everything that you have in your life that is awesome and that you are thankful for.
Things, people and places that YOU HAVE. Things you love. Things that makes you feel good. Things that make you feel happy. Only add things that are CURRENT and in the NOW and POSITIVE (words like don’t and can’t don’t belong here).
Here’s a few of mine:
- I’m thankful for Catherine – she loves me unconditionally and helps to keep me motivated and positive
- That I have a house with lots of space to live in
- Money in the bank so I can eat healthy
- All of the clients that help get that money in the bank, help me to be healthy, so I can then help THEM make money with their businesses
- I’ve decided to be more active and I hired a personal traininer. I am thankful that I have found the strength to try on something new
- I am thankful for my cousin Gary and my Aunt Phyllis
- I am thankful for my brother, my sister in law, my niece and my nephiew
- I am thankful for my Uncle Bill
- I am thankful for my closet full of clothes, because when I put on something I like and that I feel good it, it makes the day even better
- I’m thankful I had the opportunity to go to Art School
- I’m thankful for my friends who call me, check in, and say I love you to me
- I am thankful for Polly Nugent
- I’m thankful for Kristen Eldridge
- I love our kitties, they make me very happy
- I am thankful for down time where I get to relax
- I love who I am
**** If you can’t think of anything ****
1) Write down all the things that you’re not happy about at all or any negative beliefs that you have in a mini “story”. This is called a POLARITY PROCESSING TECHNIQUE and was taught to me by my client and life coach for a while, Stefanie Ziev.
Here’s my story example:
I feel like I can’t depend on that many people. My blood family has their own lives and it feels as though not many of them care to know me anymore after my parent’s lives have ended. Many people I encounter are scared of death and talking about death and therefor are scared of interacting with me. When I feel like I can’t talk freely about death or my parents, it makes me feel not free and closed in. It also makes me feel like I can not have intimacy in many of the friendships I have that can not handle this topic. That makes me feel lonely. When I’m feeling this way, it makes me feel like it’s more difficult than usual to connect with others of the human race. Many people do not have these kind of tragedies in their lives. They get to have and experience their parents. Not being able to connect with other humans on a level that is so deep makes me feel bad and unhopeful that I can find a way.
2. Then, after you are all done with your story:
underline all the NEGATIVE and EMOTIONALLY CHARGED words that don’t feel good
I’m going to now underline the negative and emotionally charged words:
I feel like I can’t depend on that many people. My blood family has their own lives and it feels as though not many of them care to know me anymore after my parent’s lives have ended. Many people I encounter are scared of death and talking about death and therefor are scared of interacting with me. When I feel like I can’t talk freely about death or my parents, it makes me feel not free and closed in. It also makes me feel like I can not have the level of intimacy I need in many of the friendships I have because they can not handle this topic. That makes me feel lonely. When I’m feeling this way, it makes me feel like it’s more difficult than usual to connect with others of the human race. Many people do not have these kind of tragedies in their lives. They get to have and experience their parents. Not being able to connect with other humans on a level that is so deeply en grained into our being such as having a mother and a father, makes me feel bad and unhopeful that I can find a way.
Wow, there a lot of emotionally charged words in that “story” ey?
3. Write those words in a list
my example:
can’t depend
blood family has own lives
not many of them care to know me anymore
my parent’s lives have ended
many people I encounter are scared of death and talking about death
scared of interacting with me
I can’t talk freely about death or my parents
not free
closed in
I can not have the level of intimacy
can not handle this topic
feel lonely
more difficult than usual to connect with others
many people do not have these kinds of tragedies
they get to have and experience their parents
not being able to connect with other humans
having a mother and a father
makes me feel bad
unhopeful
4. Then, write the opposite of that word next to it.
Make sure it feels like the opposite.
Opposites of these words
can’t depend // dependable
blood family has their own lives // I have my own life
not many of them care to know me anymore // many people want to know me
my parent’s lives have ended // my parents spiritual lives have just begun and I was happy to know them on earth
many people I encounter are scared of death and talking about death // many people in my life are open to talking about death and embracing the topic
scared of interacting with me // people get a lot of pleasure out of interacting with me, and deepen their own connection to themselves and the universe by interacting with me
I can’t talk freely about death or my parents // I can talk freely about death and my parents in settings that feel safe
not free // free
closed in // open
I cannot have the level of intimacy // I can and am able to have the intimate relationships I need with many, many people who are open to receiving the beauty that I have to give
can not handle this topic // many people can handle the topic of death and in fact, grow exponentially because they have interacted with me
feel lonely // feel connected
more difficult than usual to connect with others // it’s easy to connect with others
many people do not have these kinds of tragedies // many people have their own tragedies that they are afraid to talk about. I am not afraid.
they get to have and experience their parents // I experienced my parents in their physical life and I choose to continue a relationship that is a spiritual one. The spiritual relationship I have with them is more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt.
not being able to connect with other humans // I connect easily to other humans
having a mother and a father // I have many other people around me who love me unconditionally, in motherly and fatherly ways. I stay connected to my parents through our spiritual connection
makes me feel bad // I feel good
unhopeful // I am hopeful
5. Now, check in with yourself. Do you feel the same way as you did when you first wrote the “story”? Has there been any shift in the way you feel? Do you feel lighter?
6. Stefanie Ziev says that “stories” are energetic patterns that your EGO tells yourself. Ask the yourself and the universe to truly release these thoughts.
7. If you still feel like you need to let go a little more, write another “story” and do the same thing. Rinse, repeat.
I have other methods, like The Sedona Method — but I will leave that for another time. Try this one and see how it feels.
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