A couple of weeks ago, I started a painting. I had no idea what it was going to be. I almost never plan what I’m going to do. That day, I decided to take a black sharpie and sketch out a few places where I wanted to put some color, but I wasn’t really sure the direction it was going to take.

I

love

color

by the way.

When I’m painting, I like to turn the canvas again and again, to get a different perspective. This is exciting to me, because I think it creates a lot of freedom.

This is a painting I did. The first time really using my metallic paints. We’ve been having “artist dates” in our house. Catherine, my girlfriend, invites over her friend from work, Shana, and we eat some lunch, then go up to my art studio to listen to music and paint for a couple of hours. Real loose, no plans, no judgments, just painting. This has been morphing into more people being interested in coming over to paint and let go.

When I paint, it’s hard for me to find a finishing point. A place where I’m like, yeah, that’s done. Very different than my web work. When I do web work, I always have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Painting is different for me. It’s more emotional and I’m tied to it in a completely different way.

This painting I finished. I actually said out loud, yeah, that’s done. I really layered so much paint. I changed my mind so many times. That’s one of the the things I love about art the most – you’re never wrong and you can do whatever you want.

I call this one “Fish Out of Water” (2011). It’s really how I felt pretty much the moment my mom died and I drove home from the hospital and realized that I was totally alone in the world.  No parents. No one to tell me what I’m doing is right or wrong. No one to make sure I got a birthday gift or made sure to make me feel special. I was completely out of my element and I didn’t know anyone who had gone through or was going through what I was about to go through, at all. Atleast at 27.

I’d like to tell you more about what was going on for me when I was painting this and what things mean what to me, but I’d like to keep it open for a while for any interpretations that come up. What do you see?