Stuff. Stuff. More stuff. When you think you’re done you’re not.
Hi, I’m venting, nice to meet you, lol.
My brother is coming here (to NJ/PA) next week (from Montana) to go through some of my mom’s stuff. She left a lot of it. I’m having some anxiety — I’ve just come back from a deliciously beautiful time at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and I really don’t want to do another round, what feels like the 50 million-th round, of diving into my mother and father’s things that they left behind.
Truth be told: my mom and dad had a lot of stuff and they didn’t get rid of much. Since they have died I have been going through their stuff for the last few years and it’s really crazy. They saved everything. I have learned a bit along the way what to do with various items they left behind. The thing is, since the items are not in my personal space, I have to visit my uncle’s house to get to them. I have asked for help in the past and I had some people volunteer to help with clean up. If just feels like it’s never going to end.
Sometimes I get mad at them for leaving so much stuff. For never really truly getting rid of anything. I’ve learned to live my life as freely as I can by trying not to have too much “STuFF” — Stuff with a capital ST and two capital FFs with u in the middle is stuff you don’t need – that doesn’t serve you in the current life you have. I encourage you if you to as you go through time, get rid of things you don’t need or use. Free yourself from the burdens of material items. Keep what makes you feel: good, empowered, beautiful, clean and clear. Get rid of what makes you feel: bad, gross, reminds you of the past, and STuFF you don’t use.
In reality all I can do is face what is true/real/here and now and do what I can do keep moving through the piles until there is an “end”. It just makes me have to dive into reminding myself that they aren’t here anymore. I will probably see childhood items I’ve long forgotten about, paperwork and bills, my mom’s personal belongings and a bunch of other things I will at and say: what the hell am I going to do with that? Is it worth anything? Should I just throw it away? Give it away? Try to sell it? Some of these things can be turned into $ if you believe it’s worth the energy. Consignment shops, craiglist, ebay, or a yardsale. All of those can be done. We are probably going to do donate a lot of the items to the Purple Heart or Salvation Army. They will come take items away for you.
Anyway, I’m going to Six Flags Great Adventure to try and free my mind. We have season passes.
And next week, I’m going to try to see the good:
1) moving forwarding in letting go of my parents
2) finding a few items worth $ to sell
3) bonding / spending time with my brother