When my dad died, I went home that day to the apartment we shared in Yardville, NJ and I felt like he was around me. There were signs everywhere… my stereo was stuck on a Cranberries song, Time is Ticking Out. The PC computer keyboard caps lock and num lock was not on, it was not off – but BLINKING…! no hands on the keys… this has never happened before… my quiet cat, Bastian, sitting in my room, staring up in the corner, MEOWING for about 10 minutes. The smell of my dad’s fart in the room (what??? LOL yes, he was family famous for his farts…haha).

OKAY so… I don’t believe my dad was just here one day and gone the next. His body, was strangely uninhabited when I woke up next to him that day… the scariest day of my life. He was just staring at the wall… an image forever burned in my mind. Where did he go? I know someone was in there… I KNOW someone was in there. How can you be in there one day and not in there the next?

This has been one of the strangest experiences I think of being human — here one day, gone the next. In a body one day, the next day, body isn’t working and no one is home.

So where do we go?

The nineteenth century law of conservation of energy is a law of physics. It states that the total amount of energy in an isolated system remains constant over time. The total energy is said to be conserved over time. For an isolated system, this law means that energy can change its location within the system, and that it can change form within the system, for instance chemical energy can become kinetic energy, but that energy can be neither created nor destroyed. – Taken from Wikipedia

So energy can not be created nor destroyed, ey? So that begs the question – where does the energy we carry in our bodies go when we die?

Growing up with a Catholic mom and a Jewish dad left me sort of confused about if there was really a God or if Jesus was real. It wasn’t until ART SCHOOL when I first started to wonder if maybe Jesus was a real dude – there were so many impressions of his existence painted all over the world during the period of time he “lived” how could he not be real? Okay fine maybe he was real, but I still didn’t have any per-concieved notions of if there was anything beyond the physical.

The first book I read was After Life: Answers from the Other Side by John Edwards. I had to know more information about what other people thought happened on “the other side”. This book helped open my mind. I used to watch the CROSSING OVER show with my dad. I felt like he believed in it and I wanted to know if maybe John Edwards could be a connector for me and my dad…

The next book I read was We Live Forever: The Real Truth about Death by a woman named P.M.H. Atwater. Atwater died 3 times and lived to tell about it. She ALSO interviewed over 3,000 people who had near death experiences. Reading this book helped me to learn about other people who had near death experiences — they were from all religious backgrounds, including atheists, all ages children to old people, both sexes and stories from all different countries. This book by FAR was my favorite and still is (it’s sitting on my nightstand right now). It gave me so much more hope that there is another world out there which we as humans can not understand because we think everything has to be “physical”  or “tangible” in order for it to be “real”.

I looked through Atwater’s books and found a few more. She wrote a ton of other books on the subject, including The Big Book of Near Death Experiences: The Ultimate Guide to What Happens When We Die and Complete Idiot’s Guide to Near-Death Experiences . I never read those cover to cover but there is so much information in there, I was able to skip around as I pleased.

Last year, I bought the book Do Dead People Watch You Shower?: And Other Questions You’ve Been All but Dying to Ask a Medium by Concetta Bertoldi, a medium from NJ. I found it on Amazon and was amazed at the fact that I had been wondering that same question for YEARS! (She says they do watch you shower, but they don’t judge you). This also answered the question, do dead people attend their own funerals, do your parents wait for you to die, and a bunch of other very curious questions.

I recommend all of these books, and on top of it, getting a journal. See my post about journals (at the bottom).

If you aren’t sure what your opinion is in regards to where people go when they die (or if they go anywhere at all) try and get more educated by reading other’s opinions, then you can formulate your own.

I believe what P.M.H. Atwater says: There are 12 levels and the earth plane is the physical plane and it’s the lowest. You can only go up from there.