I’ve been holding onto a lot of secrets

I want you to know I’ve thought about writing on my blog everyday… but I’ve been holding onto a lot of secrets. I felt that if I wrote about them here I would have revealed more than I wanted to before I was ready.

SO!

:: deep breath ::

I often feel like there has to be a reason why I was left so young without any parents to guide me. I continue to search for information and listen to the universe. Sometimes I hear myself saying – well, if this happened in my life then universe, bless me with the tools and resources to live a happy life. I had “Follow Your Bliss” tattooed on my back as a reminder to following my heart, listen to what makes me happy and if I’m not happen, figure out why and change it!

I haven’t been happy living in Ewing, NJ. It isn’t inspiring. I don’t wake up every day thinking, I can’t wait to go outside and explore. I have learned over time that I am an explorer and I need to give myself environments to do so. Catherine has been saying the same thing for a long time, wanting to live in a city.

Moving further and further away from New York City, I thought it was city energy that I had a hard time with but in reality it was the pace of New York that was hard. Trying to keep up with the Joneses and feel like you have to compete with everyone around you just to be seen and heard…. it helped me grow in a lot of ways but it also made me feel like I wasn’t being true to myself. So I moved further and further away from the city until I discovered that it’s not the city I don’t like, it’s the energy. I’m an energy sensitive being and I’m tired of pretending like I’m not!

I’m so excited to share with you that we decided to live life to the fullest. We bought an RV and we’re moving to Portland, OR! We’re going to take the long way, down the east coast, across the south and up the west coast. We’re going to sell, donate, or give away our belongings and start off with a clean slate together. We want to live life happy and with passion.

Being there during the transition of my parents, as well as Catherine’s dad – you never know what’s going to happen in life. Why wait to be happy? Why wait for one day?

Portland is gay friendly, artsy, eco-friendly, coffee, beer and bike loving. If we want to have a family, this seems like the most fun place to do it.

Soon after this decision, we went to one of our favorite places in the world, the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. After a week of bliss surrounded by our amazing community of womyn, Catherine proposed to me after Sunday comedy and a walk at MichFest!!!

The proposal story

In honor of our annual tradition, we looked for a secluded spot to meditate in together. We found a place behind the media tent area off Harriet Tubman Way. Catherine put her poncho on the ground so we wouldn’t get wet or dirty and we sat together to meditate. After only about a minute, I peaked my eyes open to see if she was still meditating and to my surprise, they were wide open!

She then says to me:

“I knew when I met you almost 4 years ago that you were something very special, and you have not ceased to amaze me on a daily basis. You are the smartest, funniest, most beautiful, loving, loving, loving, adventurous, brilliant woman I have ever met. And not only is that everything that I’ve always wanted in a partner, not only are you my best friend that I can laugh and goof around with, but you’ve helped me to become a better person. I absolutely adore you.

Remember the other day when you asked me to tell you a secret? (a few days earlier, I had randomly asked her if she would tell me a secret and she said she had one, but would tell me later) I told you I had one but I wasn’t ready to share it yet? ”

:: ENTER RING BOX FROM POCKET ::

ME: I am wide eyed and shocked, thinking oh my god this is it! Is this it?? And then I think to myself there’s no way she’s going to ask me to marry her, she’s probably got me a cute gift from the crafts area… but then

:: THE BOX OPENS :: and a beautiful diamond ring is inside…

“Will You Marry Me?”

I am certain this is the moment I’ve been waiting for all my life now…

ME: “YES!!! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… (this continues for a minutes).

I try on the ring and it fits perfectly.
She tells me that she asked for my cousin Gary’s blessing (was very close to my dad all his life). I confess I was starting to plan to ask HER to marry ME — via a Times Square flash mob of dancers and friends, where my dad asked my mom to marry him. We drank wine and danced at the August Night Cafe. The DJ did not have our song, but I requested that longevity and lots of love energy be put out there on to the dance floor with the rest of her set I feel like she obliged!We are excited to share this news with you and can’t wait for the next phase in our lives!!

I am planning on writing about the experience — moving out of this house and our adventures on the road. I know that this next phase is going to be the best one yet!!